Trust and vulnerability
“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone — but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
~ Walter Anderson
Most people find it difficult to trust others. When it comes to trust, there are two basic philosophies:
1. Trust everyone until they prove they’re not trustworthy
2. Don’t trust anyone until they prove they’re trustworthy
IMO, the second way is not about trust. By definition, the moment you need reasons, then you are not trusting…you’re simply trying to hedge your risks. In contrast, genuine trust is an act of faith. Trusting means we are confident that the one we trust can do no wrong, because we’re sure of his/her intentions and integrity. This confidence is not a result of any past experience or other reasons but of an instinctive knowing that is not, usually, rational.
Trusting is the easiest when we love someone. This is because when we trust we know we are vulnerable. And in love we’re willing to be vulnerable. So the ability to take the risk of being hurt is the cornerstone of trust, and, as Anderson puts it, of love and joy.
But it is not trusting others that is the most difficult of challenges…it is trusting the self. We ought to love ourselves to be able to rely on our instincts and our intentions to guide us. We can then trust ourselves enough to be confident of our feelings and emotions.