Archive for the ‘Prayer Discussion’ Category
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
Assumptions are, as the word suggests, not necessarily facts. In fact, more often than not, they are only a figment of the assumer’s imagination. When we assume, we are trying to fill in the gap in our knowledge by guesswork. This means that when we assume, we are defining only ourselves.
In relationships, assumptions create misunderstandings and confusions, which in turn lead to needless squabbles. Too many assumptions can destroy a relationship. That is why Winkler refers to assumptions as “termites” of relationships.
We could do away with most conflicts in our relationships if only we could shun assumptions. To do so requires faith. I find it remarkable that all relationship issues seem to be solvable by faith. The answer is so simple. But, like Leonardo Da Vinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
“Love is not love until love’s vulnerable.”
Roethke is bang on target. I find this true. I sense it. I feel it. When I love, I am completely vulnerable. Willingly. But is vulnerability equal to weakness? A vehement NO! On the contrary vulnerability in love is a sign of courage. We can be willingly vulnerable only when we have faith. And faith is an act of absolute courage. Faith needs tremendous inner conviction. Even as I feel vulnerable and needy, the source of my courage is my love.
“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone — but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
~ Walter Anderson
Most people find it difficult to trust others. When it comes to trust, there are two basic philosophies:
1. Trust everyone until they prove they’re not trustworthy
2. Don’t trust anyone until they prove they’re trustworthy
IMO, the second way is not about trust. By definition, the moment you need reasons, then you are not trusting…you’re simply trying to hedge your risks. In contrast, genuine trust is an act of faith. Trusting means we are confident that the one we trust can do no wrong, because we’re sure of his/her intentions and integrity. This confidence is not a result of any past experience or other reasons but of an instinctive knowing that is not, usually, rational.
Trusting is the easiest when we love someone. This is because when we trust we know we are vulnerable. And in love we’re willing to be vulnerable. So the ability to take the risk of being hurt is the cornerstone of trust, and, as Anderson puts it, of love and joy.
But it is not trusting others that is the most difficult of challenges…it is trusting the self. We ought to love ourselves to be able to rely on our instincts and our intentions to guide us. We can then trust ourselves enough to be confident of our feelings and emotions.
“All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own.”
~Johann von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther, 1774
Humility is natural when we’re true to ourselves. Then there is no desire for one-upmanship. This prayer stands for humility and self-awareness, which in turns stems from being true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means acknowledging, and acting upon, our deepest desires, our most vivid and persistent dreams, our passion and our purpose. Knowing the self is the greatest knowledge…all else is superficial and irrelevant.
“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?”
This is a beautiful prayer and the best example of its potency was seen during the 9/11 terror strikes. In the post-strikes coverage, one thing that touched us all was how everyone on board the four aircraft, as well as those trapped in the two WTC towers, knew they were about to die…and how most of them were dying to reach out to their loved ones. Some of them even managed to speak to their spouses, children, parents. All of them said almost the same things, “I think I am going to die and I just wanted to let you know I love you”. Here’s a related story.